Friday, 29 December 2006

EXCERPTS FROM JOURNAL OF THE GREAT

PART 1


LOVE ANGEL

      Last night I met an angel! Am I hearing people thinking ‘’yeah right!’’ in their heads? Am serious, I really did meet an angel because no human being could ever be that perfect, she had all that I have ever wanted in a woman the way I liked it and more. It was all so unbelievable plus  the circumstances of our collision makes things feel like it was a dream not until I smelt her fresh perfume on ma shirt did I fully comprehend that may be it did happen.
      Last night was my best night ever, it was totally awesome I never felt so great in my life and the things I did were beyond what I could humanly accomplish but thanks to her I feel I can now  be a better man than I was.
      Last night I could not find anyone, none of my friends were available for a boy’s night out, yeah, that’s what it really felt like, a night for boys to go out and party until they drop, I never go out alone but this time it was different. Regardless of the fact that none was available I could not bring myself to let such a night go to waste.
      With less than the usual enthusiasm I promptly hopped onto my bike and sped off to have what’s left of my shattered night and in no time I was at Steak Out. I sought an empty table and ordered for a double round of Guinness and set about breaking a Guinness record of emptying the most Guinness bottles in one hour.
       It was on my fourth bottle that it happened, one minute I was drenching a bottle feeling sorry for myself the next I was frozen in mid swipe staring at the most gorgeous creature my drunken eyes had ever beheld. She was at least 5 feet 7- my height or a bit taller, slender and very curvy wearing a very red dress almost ebony strapped with a string on one side of the shoulder and descending into a pretty deep neckline showing off a bit of her bosom enough to rouse a man’s curiosity, her hips were absolutely not a lie and my God! What a beautiful set of legs strapped into a perfectly matching pair of dainty shoes. People, listeners, my dear audience there is a saying that goes ‘’save the best for last’’ that’s why I hadn’t mentioned her face yet. Just thinking of it takes my breath away so please excuse the flush on my face, am trying to control my breathing.
      Whew! Mmmmmmmmm, my oh my! If only I had command of better exclamations I would write a hundred more, I don’t know where to start. Okay, all of you picture a face of the woman you always dreamt about, one you consider perfect to the letter and have her appear before you in reality! That’s what happened to me, she had those big innocent eyes, hazy almost smoky like and she had a way of making them look sexy especially when she flashed that million dollar smile, they were quite penetrating with a dark hue that made one feel she had knowledge of who you really were and was thinking. In between her eyes she had the most curious nose I have ever beheld- tiny, barely poking out of her face and her mouth? God what a mouth! I just wanted to cup her cute small face and kiss it, it seemed to be asking for a kiss. Her teeth were very white I figured they must be natural diamonds, very clear they even flashed with a light of their own or so I thought, she had this short hair that reached and covered her neck making her look a bit like Halle Berry so guys you must understand why I almost jumped out of my skin looking at her smiling down at me and my bottle filled table.
       She held my gaze till I started shrinking and its like she felt it and dropped her eyes then came her smooth silky voice!
  ‘how do you stomach that stuff’, ‘úm what?’ I squeaked




I stole a glance at her hands; they were also small with delicate fingers. What made her even more curious was that she had donned no jewelry at all, no ring, earring or necklace, I could detect no make up at all but she obviously fit my idea of perfection. Her lips were soft and fresh, her skin very smooth, no taint at all. I started looking for disparities but was finding none. ‘why are you examining me?’ she asked sipping her water ‘excuse me I’ll be back in a minute’ I got up and rushed to the restrooms stared at the mirror and tried to compose myself as best I could, splashed some water in my face and cleared my boozy breath, I headed back to our table determined to right wrongs.
     After a while she was like ‘I have a confession to make’ I looked up quizzically. She had this cocky grin on her face ‘I liked the dumbstruck you better than that act you are putting up right now’ I smiled ‘loosen up buddy, we aint at a funeral. Act like a man, aren’t you gonna hook me up?’ my smile broadened, I decided I like this gal that instant ‘you are doing a great job of hooking ME up!’ I retorted. She burst into a melodious laughter, ‘that’s a good one. I see you at least have a sense of humor’ ‘may be, may be not’ I breathed suddenly feeling relaxed. She noticed that too! Lifting her brow in a manner that seemed to inquire ‘well?!’ my cue at most. Enter Casanova Corrie…
‘You don’t look like you are from these parts’ I quizzed suggestively, ‘actually am not’ the tone in which she said it had a hint of finality that stopped me from pursuing the subject. So I swiped my beer as she took a good look at me with a hint of awe and curiosity, ‘what?’ ‘How do you swallow that stuff like that?’ ‘Wanna try one?’
‘NO!’
‘C’mon’
‘No!’
‘Chicken’ I teased, I dared her to refuse with my eyes and after a long staring match she relented ‘oookay…. But not that stuff’ she said pointing at the Guiness label so I sent for a Smirnoff Ice. She took one slow tentative sip, hesitated, then another and another ‘way to go gal!’ I cheered and she laughed, I could see she was fast getting light-headed so I gulped down mine and tried to keep the KB thorough. She finished her beer which she preferred to call ‘soft drink’ and was about to motion for another one but I suggested ‘why don’t we get the hell outa here’ ‘you’re right. Where to?’ ‘How about Basement’ ‘what’s basement?’ ‘you will see. C’mon lets go’ she stood up suddenly realizing she was pretty tipsy. I held her arm and we giddily escorted each other to my bike. She eyed it dubiously and suggested we walk because she needed to clear her head. ‘Fine with me’ I figured Basement wasn’t that far but I was amazed she could walk the distance without a complaint. Obviously she was stronger willed than most women I have met plus that walk hadn’t put her down at all so we hit the club and I sensed she had never been in such a place. She became very excited and pinned me down on the dance floor, we grooved non-stop for hours to all sorts of music. Even those I had never cared for seemed to sound so right I did not want the night to end. Her body was so soft and her leaning into me made me feel how manly I was in contrast to her femininity, she was all woman, I thanked God for that night and her. I am not yet done thanking him though. People, it was the most memorable night, dancing with the woman of my dreams changed me because I don’t feel the same. I remember feeling like a small frightened boy being comforted by my mother, her holding me in her arms humming Dj Sammy’s ‘Heaven’ I was really finding it hard to believe I wasn’t in heaven, I still feel like we were.
      Later on I checked my watch and realized it would be very light soon so I ushered her out but she was now very worn out, the walk back was twice as hard to accomplish, I didn’t mind though. Suddenly she broke away from my arms and ran into the darkness, I was too tired to chase her, I could feel the emptiness and suddenly I felt so sad, ‘I knew she was too good to be true’ I chided myself, I must have been dreaming, fantasizing, hallucinating and sleep walking all at once I reasoned. But no… … wait, aint she the one coming right back! Yeah she IS the one, she is real…
I felt so much joy I hugged her for5 a tleast a whole minute. ‘Whoa loverboy, thought I had vanished did ya?’ she giggled weakly, I deciceded I could not take it anymore, my mouth descended on hers and locked, we swayed in the motion and warmth together as one. When I drew away, she moaned and sank to the ground faint and weak. She was too tired to walk anymore, funny enough she wanted to sleep right there on the roadside, I laughed hopelessly in anguish sighed and picked her up in my arms and plodded on towards Steak Out and my bike. She was heavy and I was tired so after a few yards I put her down and knelt beside her looking long at this picture of perfection in my arms, this night had really been weird. The sky now had a touch of grey as dawn was approaching very fast.no cars or Taxis were in view. I was stuck in a hopeless situation with her, it was becominng very painful.
       She opened her eyes and gave me a weak smile and went right back to sleep. She looked so beautiful and blissful without any cares at all it warmed my heart and that I felt was a good sign. I picked her up again and plodded on but this time it’s like I had some inner strength that made me carry her the whole way back.
        After a while I stopped feeling the load in my arms and felt lucky to be doing her a service- not many men had ever had a chance to be in my position. By the time we reached Steak Out she was strong enough to walk and promptly offered to ride me back to my place as an appreciation for carrying her. With a glance at her dress I grinned in amusement rejecting the offer of course but she was serious and insisted. She grabbed the keys from me and hopped onto the bike. I stood dumb-struck again looking at her dress which had ridden up her thighs, she smiled, fired up the engine, I shrugged still amazed  and sat behind her holding onto her slender waist snuggling up close, she elbowed my ribs and giggled, I persisted and she gave up jerked the bike and sped off. Impulsively I held on tighter.
       Strangely I don’t remember telling her where I stay but she found the place anyway, we arrived in no time. I was so glad to be back home and more so with, I was with an amazing woman.
        In my room she simply sank into my bed and dozed off. I stood at the bedside gazing longingly at her torn between jumping in bed and ravishing her and pity for the fragile creature so exhausted and definitely not ready for sex. I hesitated for a long time, this was a chance of a lifetime and I was blowing it, damn! I paced the room for a couple more minutes, figured I was very tired and probably wouldn’t enjoy it, I threw my hands in the air in defeat and simply snuggled beside her and promptly dozed off.
       Then I had a dream…
        I dreamt there was a beautiful girl in my room gazing almost sadly at me smoothening my locks and caressing my cheek, she got a Bible and rtead me a story, I felt a lot like a little boy again to my mother sing a lullaby. The story was from Genesis chapt. 18. then she said ‘I know you are a good man, you have to do right, you did not fail me and for that you will me again when the time is right … goodbye…
      I woke up screaming ‘Noooooooooooo! Wait!  But I was alone in an empty room, she was gone but I knew she had been there right before me; it was all so real and clear. It was raining outside. Looking out my window at the grey sky letting forth a sheet of pelting rain in direct contrast to the warm cozy and sheltering room I could not help but wonder how so like me the condition outside felt. I opened the window and a blast of cold air hit me whisking my breath away leaving me gasping wiping the tears that had rolled down my cheek. I felt connected to it, as cold and lonely seperated from the one. Somewhere out there she too was staring at the wide lonely expanse waiting for the fate of God to break it but until then; we were all stuck in our lives, one where where each day we lay in a phantom world where we did not belong, that did not want us. My bitterness reflected in my face for what seemedlike eternity until the numbness on my skin crawled into my heart and I slowly closed the window. I stared unmoving, mad and piteous mocked and pocked by fate showing me what I could not have.
      But above all this I could not forgive myself for the naked lie I was living. I could not get rid of the memory as it pounded in my head again and again. I’d refused to believe that love was real, that it had stared right at me and dared me to take the words back, dared me to embrace it, tears trickled slowly from my eyes corroding all the sorrow I felt in my soul. I’d torn myself from a part  that needed to complete me and here I stood unable to reverse that fact, I knew I just had to let it be but how does one explain to himself that he’d had a glimpse of heaven, tasted it and could not take it …! But worse still how does one blame himself for what had happened; I wanted so badly to blame it on fate but what was done was done, atleast it was fun while it lasted.
      Noone could take the memory of what we had shared and I’d learnt my lesson. Love was real, you only realise it to late, love sucks! Pain is love! But, love is love whatsoever…


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